OUTRAGED

Haute Mess Mom is in no way a political or social forum, but it is killing me not having an outlet for my outrage on the recent events affecting our country. I am a proud American who has fulfilled my service and duty to country. I do understand what it means to be an American. I have seen with my own eyes what other countries with out our freedom deal with. But I also understand what it is like to be a proud black person. Despite me being a proud Black American I am also a scared black mother.

            I believe all mothers have a level of fear when their children leave their presence, but no fear I have experienced has trumped the fear for the lives of my children growing up to be black adults. Something that they have no choice on or no way to hide when just being black poses a threat to others. We cannot control the authorities and still have not seemed to be able to convince them that there is an issue with the way things are being handled between law enforcement and the communities they police. What we can control, however, are our children. But what can we do? Is there a way to raise our children not to be targets when in reality we can be gunned down by trained and appointed authorities for selling CDs, playing alone in the park with a toy gun, breaking down on a highway, waiting for your children at a bus stop or reaching for necessary documents during a traffic stop? It seems we are at a lost there.

            Sadly, what angers me amongst the fear is the fact that other proud Americans can ignore the mistreatment your fellow citizens endure and are not also outraged with us. Furthermore, how do so many non black Americans embrace so much of our culture and not be outraged? How do you listen and dance freely to our music yet not be outraged? How do you where dashikis for fashion yet not be outraged? How do you wear box-braids and cornrows yet not be outraged? How do you mimic our physical features yet not be outraged? How do you claim to be turned on by or attracted to us but not be outraged? You love everything about us but do not hate how we are treated? Even if race was eliminated from the equation. Countless events of unarmed citizens are being gunned down by law enforcement and it does not disgust some of you. You can know what we are feeling and not cringe or even bat an eye because of course it doesn’t affect you. Or better yet some of you ignore it all together.

            At this point I want nothing more than acknowledgment of the injustices. I am tired of you who just go about like this doesn’t affect our entire country whether you’re black or not. You may not be affected directly but you can not say no you know feels the same anxiety I feel. Do not ignore it any more. Stand with us and stop opposing that this is an issue. And stop making excuses. We wont get through this with half the country acting like its nothing. I can only pray if we stand together and agree that this is a problem something can be done.

             

We're Moving!

    We currently live in a rental. A beautiful split foyer, 4 bedroom, 3 bath, with formal dining and bonus room. For the most part we love it, with the exception of the backyard not being fenced in. It's just enough space for us and we love the schools here. Sounds like we should stay put, right? I wish it was that easy. Last month the owner decided not to renew our lease in order to sale. So we have to pack up and move. 

It's been stressful looking for a place to fulfill our needs within the short amount of time. And it's not that we are being picky, we actually need the space and I really don't want to move the kids, especially with my son in his first 4 months of school. 

It's not all bad though. A new house means I get to redecorate. Well, to me it does. And my sweet husband has agreed with me to use the 4th bedroom as my own office/den. As he would use the bonus room for his own office/den. As opposed to our joint office and separate den. So super Hollywood Glam Mom Cave for me it is! I'm excited! I picture white fur, mirrored furniture, an elegant sleeper sofa for the occasional guest room conversion. Maybe some type of make up storage that can hide well as traditional furniture. http://www.polyvore.com/m/set?.embedder=17906659&.svc=copypaste&id=181733548

We have to be moved by the end of this month. Pushing it right? That means moving during Thanksgiving, my husbands birthday, and the Redskins and Giants game. To be settled in by then means moving this week or next. Yikes! 

Well wish us luck. With all that's going on right now it'll definitely be needed!

Taco Tuesday Tequila Lime Chicken

Happy Taco Tuesday Amigos! Being from California, tacos are a staple in my diet, so Taco Tuesday is a must in our household. Our normal tacos with ground turkey are great but today I wanted something a little different. I already had a bag of chicken breast I previously seasoned and froze so "Tequila Lime" came to mind immediately. I went to my bar cart to grab the tequila that was left from Cinco de Mayo and started to add to the freezer bag:

• 1/2 cup of silver tequila
• juice from 1 lime2 tbsp of cilantro
• 1/4 cup water
• 1/2 tsp salt

I gave the bag a few shakes and sat aside while I warmed my stove top griddle to medium. Once heated I grilled the chicken on both sides until cooked thoroughly (165 degrees).

While the chicken grilled I began a sauce to cover the chicken.

• 1 tbsp oil
• 1 tbsp all purpose flour
• left over marinade

I heated the oil in a small sauce pan. I then added the flour and whisked together over low heat into a peanut butter like color and consistency.  Then in went the marinade and water and I blended until even and let thicken a bit. 

I poured the sauce over the chicken and served over a bed a spring mix. Feel free to slice and serve with rice, tortillas, the rest of the tequila or any thing else that completes your Taco Tuesday. 

Enjoy!

Lessons Learned from the Mothers in my Life

With today being Mother's Day I began to reflect on my mother and grandmothers and the impact they have had on me. There are valuable lessons I learned from each of them.

The Grandmother I was the closest with was my dad's mom Ida, better known as Miss Doll or Doll Baby to her siblings. She lived with us for many years through out my life. I loved spending summers with her and my cousins at her home in Grapeland, Texas. Her furniture was always French Provincial, which is now my favorite style; her gardens always bloomed with beautiful flowers, herbs, peppers and watermelon; and her cooking is why I am who I am today. The classic recipes for dinners and desserts she taught are the ones I still use today. as well as the short cuts she showed me are what I use to make these meals with my busy schedule.

My mother's mom, Grandma Chris, was always stylish. Her sewing machine was always set up and ready. She made a lot of her own clothes and you could never tell it was not from a department store. I used to love going through her spools of thread and fabric, wishing I could sew an outfit together as she could. My favorite story is of how she would come home from her bridge games and sew an outfit in minutes before heading out to her social club. The pictures would be just as glamorous as any thing found in a magazine.

Clockwise: Grandma Ida, my mother, my brother Tony, myself, Granda Chris; 1985

My mother is originally from Detroit and I spent a lot of time there as a child. One of my most fondest memories is the time spent with family at my Great-Grandparents home. My Grandma Owens seemed to live in the kitchen. Breakfasts of grits, eggs and bacon in the downstairs kitchen was everlasting. No matter how many of us showed up there was always plenty of food to go around. And you were always asked if you wanted to eat when you arrived. Not knowing how exhausting cooking was at the time I didn't realize how hard it was to feed so many of us, so often. But she did it with a smile. I try my best today to be as gracious as a host as she was to us when we came through her door.

Left to Right: Big Mama, Grandma Owens

The classiest woman I have ever met in life was my Big Mama, my mother's paternal grandmother. She always seemed so reserved. She had the most calming smile and voice. From the photos of her as a young lady enjoying the beaches of Idlewild to her style and poise. She reminds me that life is not about what environment your from but how you carry yourself.

And my very own mother, Berenda. She has taught me that you have to enjoy your life. She travels often and fills her days with doing the things she really loves. She realizes that to be good to others you have to also be good to yourself. I often have to remind myself to reserve some time and energy to enjoy and refresh from my day to day task.

I love all these women and I am grateful for the roles they all have played in my life. As I enjoy my Mother's Day I am also reminded how blessed I am to have had these women mold me.

Happy Mother's Day to you all!